Ordinary 16C – July 21, 2019

Luke 10:38-42, Amos 12

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time.”But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, “How about going to church with me and receive blessings?”But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited afew minutes more, thinking about the situation. The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.This time he put his face up against the centipede’s house and shouted,“Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?”This time, a little voice came out of the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”

When I read Luke continuously, I suspect that Martha and Mary follow the Good Samaritan for a reason. Love God with all your heart soul and mind, and your neighbor as yourself. Easy enough to preach the Good Samaritan and neighbor identification.  In effect, be a Martha. Yet many of the folks in the pews might identify themselves with the good church people who bypass the man in the ditch, and they also identify with Mary. Be a Mary. You can preach love of neighbor and love of God with integrity, but it is hard to do it in the same sermon or even back to back. Good luck with this. If it has you worried, imagining how my listeners will hear it worried me. Maybe worry is a point. Not to worry, do.

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “Excuse me?” the young accountant said, “I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.” “I see,” the young accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?” “I will start you at $95,000.” “Ninety-five thousand dollars!” the young accountant exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that?” “That,” the owner said, “is your first worry.”

I once preached the Amos text and ended by taking a bite out of a juicy peach, a summer fruit perfectly in season. A story that holds up only with superficial fact-checking:

The great Southern rock band of my college days was the Allman Brothers Band. They were at their zenith when their amazing guitar player Duane Allman went for a ride on his motor cycle. Duane was struck and killed by a peach truck. A year later, the bass player Berry Oakley was struck and killed by a peach truck while riding his motor cycle. The next album the band produced was entitled, Eat a Peach.

Have a great week. – Laurin

 

Ordinary 15C – July 14, 2019

Luke 10:25-37, Amos 7

At a pharmacy, a woman tried to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The pharmacy technician explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the mother and baby together on an adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. “That won’t work,” countered the woman. “I’m NOT the mother, I’m the aunt.”

Bef0re the dinner party the thief instructs his wife, ” Do not use the silver spoons.” The wife responds,”Why, are you afraid that the guests might steal them.” “No,” he answers. “I am afraid that the guests might recognize them.”

Sometimes when Jesus tells a story, he scatters pieces of information that allow us to identify ourselves, our lives in the story. Sometimes we do not like who we are when we are the shallow ground on the path where the seeds cannot take root, or we find ourselves in the older son. We would readily identify with all of the good religious people in this parable in any other context. Here, we want to say, but this is not about me. Or we want to ask, how do we know when we need to step out of our normal routine. One answer might simply be, because someone is hurting.

Hope that you can find the humor helpful! Have a blessed week. – Laurin